Before going to stage I was feeling nervous but I was able to control it. As my turn approximated I began to freak out. When I watched Domenico's presentation I felt a strong desire to present; something very weird because since I am very shy I hate to talk in public, especially alone. However, when I watched him present I kind of got excited about presenting to the audience. I felt that I had made my presentation so much more personal and better that I really wanted to share my story with everyone.
When it was finally my turn my heart started to beat faster and faster as I walked to the stage. I was very scared to fail. The main reason why I am so scared to ruin my presentation is because I only had one shot to show my work in the best way possible. I felt pressured. So I feel that I need to reward my hard work by giving an outstanding presentation. However this was very hard for me.
As I begun to talk I had some problems with the clicker because the slides wouldn't change, but the clicker wasn't really the problem, it was myself, I was so stressed I didn't even think were I was clicking. Then as a few slides passed I begun to gain more confidence and I became more natural, I felt the personal connection with what I was saying that I started to enjoy telling my story. However my body couldn't control the stress and my hands were trembling, I felt the notecards shake and all I could think was what if they mess up or the notecards fall. This stress begun to take over me and that small confidence that I took a while to gain suddenly left. Then I begun to rush, that's what I usually do when I am scared, because I want it to be over.
The worst part for me was when I suddenly begun talking about something and the next slide didn't match, I had realized that I have skipped a notecard, an idea, and I had to go back and fix my mistake. I return as fast as I could to the previous slide where I messed up and I what I had forgotten. Even though I was able to fix it I was still stressed because my notecards begun to mess up and I was really scared to forget something and not be able to find it.
When I finished talking about Angelica I realized that I didn't really need the notecards, this presentation was so personal to me that it was truly all inside my heart and all I need was a little more confidence, because the emotion and the words were all there with me during the entire time, they were just blocked by the stressed and my nerves.
When my presentations was over I felt happy, I had finally finished and I got through it all. I also realized that I had greatly improved since my last presentation to the class but I could have still done a better job. For next time, if we ever get the chance to do the TED Talk again I will defiantly try to do it without notecards. In fact, I will practice without them, I need to get more confident about myself and be sure that I will do all right, think about all the good positive outcomes instead of the negative ones.
I really would love to get another chance to do this TED Talk not only to do it better but also to get more experience presenting and using my oral english skills. Over the years, especially in high school, I feel that I have focused a lot on my writing, which is very solid now, and I have left my speaking skills behind, which is also very important. I am really looking forward to November to give the r e a l TED Talk because it is truly one of my dreams and for this I will need a lot of practice and confidence.